Despite what zillions of individuals believe, write prose and poetry about, sing, clash, fight and sadly even kill about, “Love is NOT a mystery!” It is a survival code deeply wired into our DNA, and the DNA of all mammals. It is a language. This language asks an essential question. ARE you there for me? ARE you with me? ARE you hearing me? ARE you feeling what I am feeling? ARE you able to be with my feelings without attempting to change them?  ARE you able to share your scariest, softest, most vulnerable feelings with me. ARE you able to stay out of angry reaction toward me? ARE you able to not judge my feelings?

In the language of Emotion Focused Individual and Couple Therapy A.R.E you Attuned, Responsive and Engaged with me?  This question begins at birth, perhaps before.


-thank you Drs Susan Johnson, James Bowlby, and Leslie Greenberg.



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