Yesterday after a good number of EFT couples session: “It just rips my heart to hear that she feels that way.” What do you do? “I try and help, I tell her, “you need to get out of the house, you can’t just sit around” I ask P, how is that for you to hear that he wants you to get out of the house? P gets very quiet. She’s been crying. She then looks at R and says…”I want you to tell me that your heart is being ripped…when you tell me that I need to get out of the house, I just feel that how I’ve been feeling has been wrong…that I’m wrong, that I need to change and be different. But, when I hear that your heart is torn…I feel…”finally…finally…his heart feels like my heart. My heart has been ploughing up the ground between us trying to get to your heart, and what I’ve been getting from you is suggestions on how I should fix myself, but when I hear that your heart is torn, it feels like you feel like me and that you’re with me. That’s all I want to know when I am at my lowest…that you are with me.” He gets very quiet and reaches his hand for hers. It is in moments like these that I know men (and women, but mostly men) have the capability to feel deep emotion and connect with their partners. It is in these moment that I am eternally grateful for the gifts that Sue Johnson the primary creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy is working her ass off to give to the world. Thank you, Sue!

couple with ballon

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