“Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.” “What you don’t talk out, you act out.” That is the profound truth that lies at the core of the mass shootings that plague American society. You must watch this Ted Talk!!!
A core tenet of EFT, and our Hold Me Tight Seattle Couples Workshops – Accepting Negative Emotions
“Instead of backing away from negative emotions, accept them. Acknowledge how you are feeling without rushing to change your emotional state.” And, when you partner can be with you in this process, trust, intimacy and love thrive!
With the fundamental help of Developmental Psychologist, Ed Tronick, Phd, the creator of the “Still Face,” experiment, Sue Johnson, the primary creator of EFT, continues to show us how the power of emotion organizes moments of disconnection and connection from infancy to the grave. A must view!
Yesterday after a good number of EFT couples session: “It just rips my heart to hear that she feels that way.” What do you do? “I try and help, I tell her, “you need to get out of the house, you can’t just sit around” I ask P, how is that for you to hear that he wants you to get out of the house? P gets very quiet. She’s been crying. She then looks at R and says…”I want you to tell me that your heart is being ripped…when you tell me that I need to get out of the house, I just feel that how I’ve been feeling has been wrong…that I’m wrong, that I need to change and be different. But, when I hear that your heart is torn…I feel…”finally…finally…his heart feels like my heart. My heart has been ploughing up the ground between us trying to get to your heart, and what I’ve been getting from you is suggestions on how I should fix myself, but when I hear that your heart is torn, it feels like you feel like me and that you’re with me. That’s all I want to know when I am at my lowest…that you are with me.” He gets very quiet and reaches his hand for hers. It is in moments like these that I know men (and women, but mostly men) have the capability to feel deep emotion and connect with their partners. It is in these moment that I am eternally grateful for the gifts that Sue Johnson the primary creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy is working her ass off to give to the world. Thank you, Sue!
He quietly reaches for you. Your tears of pain, of hurt, of confusion and self loathing. Your tears of sadness. For the son who seems out of reach. For the father who never truly saw you. Tears for the mother and husband who in their own fear failed to help. Failed to help. They hurt you. They did. They have for many years. Tears for self. Now self loathing. For the deep longing and impossible belief that you are ok. Tears that sting and ruddy your cheeks. For the son you seems out of reach. For the words you’ve always heard telling you to change. To be someone you have tried to be, but knew you were not, not now. Tears and electric jolts coursing through your body. The screams of panic telling you to run. But we sit. We sit. It hurts. Yes, it does. Yes, it hurts. But we hold. We affirm. Then, he quietly reaches for you. You sob. No words, just tears. Gratitude.
Using an Emotion Focused/Attachment based approach as the basis of treating Schizophrenia can help. By first establishing trust between therapist and client with an emotional focus and then building strength based skills and good medication management from there is shown here to have positive results.
Here is the story of a client of OnTrackNY’s promising approach to the treatment of schizophrenia, a profound and chronic mood disorder. A strong example of how re-securing attachment to self and others can have good positive results.
At the core of the treatment lies this simple, but powerful intervention.
‘I can see you’re angry, how can I help you?’”