“I know that must be tough.”

As someone who has struggled with the “you’re not good enough” voice for his entire life, hearing my partner shift this morning from, “you don’t have to figure that out,” to “I know that must be tough” instantly moved me...

“You need to change!”

“Forget about the notion that our emotions can be kept at bay” Dave Matthews Walking this morning and pondering the hard lessons that creating fundament shift in relationship is deeply challenging with only one trying to change. This hard lesson is coming...

“Love is NOT a mystery!”

Despite what zillions of individuals believe, write prose and poetry about, sing, clash, fight and sadly even kill about, “Love is NOT a mystery!” It is a survival code deeply wired into our DNA, and the DNA of all mammals. It is a language. This language...

“I can’t go back to that fake feeling!”

“We’ve both been living this fake relationship for years. I can’t be real in relationship with you until I know me and truly know you…it’s not going to be fast..but I can’t go back to that fake feeling!” Want Loving, Caring,...

“Not pointing fingers!”

My clients always say it better than I can explain…here is what a recent offered after our sessions came to a close…. “Working with Joseph gave me a framework for identifying the emotions, and root causes, that underlie so much of my behavior. He...

“I leaned into my fear and the fever broke!”

After 10 months of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the female partner of a couple who came into therapy reeling from an infidelity and an reactive domestic violence who was able to lean into a very old fear and stay engaged with her partner. When questioned,...